A letter to myself and a self talk

I wish. I wish the negative memory can be deleted.

I wish that I wouldn't care so much

I wish all that never happened. 

I wish I could let it go. 

I wish I wouldn't recall any of that moment. 

I wish I am not a attention seeker. 

I wish I can hate you. 

I wish I can just forget about trying to be friend with you. 

I wish you can take my jokes. 

I wish I have higher Eq.

I wish I never see the bad side of you.

I wish we are not the casualty of the incidence. 

I wish I don't need to be pretend nothing happen before.

I wish........

Don't remind me. Because I am a coward that don't want to recall any of that. 

You are the biggest dark spot in my life. I admit. 

I'm not sure whether you find me the same not. 

But we know, we don't treat each other the same like last time anymore. 

As I not even dare to do so. 

I hate being a baby. 

I hate being sensitive. you are also sensitive as well. which make it even worse. 

-Chia Lin-

After writing it, I feel so much better. 

So, I read back, and this is the self-talk: 

To Chia Lin 

eeeewwwww! Chia Lin. 

You wrote that! 

Please la, only loser can't get rid of the past. 

I'm sure you are not one of them. 

You know what mistake you have done. 

So just make sure you don't repeat the mistake. 

Be grateful with what you have now.

Be grateful that friendship that has conflict is the real friendship. 

You don't want to be treated fake-ly  right?

So, stop being a jackass.

Fuck all the nonsense you had in mind. 

You are way too lucky but yet you forgot about it?

Why take things so serious?

Can't you just be relaxed and stop thinking too much

I just don't understand what you lady's thinking. 

Why care about the small things happen in life?

Stop being princess when you are not at home! *Yes, I'm treated as prwiiiincess at home. SHOUT OUT to daddy: I LOVE YOU~* 

So, why you act pity here? To gain sympathy?! 

Oh god, please la! 

You make me even more sick! 

You need a stupid smack la! 

You need a kick in your ass only you start realise you waste time on this. 

Worth it?

Totally not. 

Live in present. 

Don't live in the past.

and fight for future. 

-bad angel in you-