Thursday, 20 December 2018

The good old days

I missed the good old days, when we can work our asses off and laugh our lungs out together. Now everyone has gone to different place and I don't think we can find the same laughters back.

I miss you.

Tuesday, 26 June 2018

Another day

It's not healthy to be emotionally attached to patients and I know that this is not professional.

Maybe I'm still young in this field so slowly I'm staring to experience my favourite fury patients to reach the time when they cross the rainbow bridge.

And I have this very bad trait which I have all my feelings written on my face. At one point, I don't know what to say to the owners or how to console their broken heart because I could feel the heartache as well. One of the owner later texted me and said she received my condolences through the looking of my eyes. And she thanked me. And there's another case, I feel that the owner console me and told me that her pets love me too. I broke down crying so bad since it means a lot to me.
But today is the worst.

I need to put her down. The rescuer asked me last night if wanna put her to sleep when she has a confirmed diagnosis of brain tumor. I told the owner my answer would be biased... They decided to bring her back to monitor

But today she started seizure. She was in pain. I know I couldn't hold her any longer. She was suffering. So we come into a conclusion that I need to put her to sleep.
But you know what.. I was shivering. I was shivering to inject this pink solution into her vein. And I cried injecting it. But I know this is the right thing to do.

May you rest in peace, no more suffering no more pain.. Only loved.

Wednesday, 24 May 2017

What did I do when I first arrived. New Zealand working holiday #2

When I first arrived, I was a lucky girl, because I have my secondary friend there to pick me up! Ang See Yin, please give a round of applause! She deserved it! hahaha. Yin and I are both talkative, we have endless topics, and almost every topic didn't get to finish lolwtf, it is true, seriously *serious face* 

 In the return of favor, I would like to post
a picture 
which she looks better than me. 

Things that need to do. 
  1. A sim card
You need local NZ phone numbers to do everything. And it's fast. At first I use sparks, $19 combo which you can have 1GB sparks wifi everyday. 500MB a month, 1Gb facebook data a month,  if you have friends who is studying in New Zealand, apply the student extra benefit, can get another 500MB.  Unlike in Malaysia, data is cheap but in New Zealand, it's precious. T^T 

they have renewed their combo packages.. Check sparks out. 
P.s: After I got the job, I change to Skinny Direct, I want my freedom back which costs me $30 a month, 3GB and I think that's kinda a deal to me. 

      2. A Bank account. 
  • I use ANZ and only ANZ. Easy, fast efficient. Get a letter from the place you stay to prove that you are staying there. 
  • Your E-working holiday Visa print out 
  • A booking with them will make everything faster and easier. And as for me, Queenstown is full till next month wtf, So I went further north to Cromwell to get it done. Very fast. 
  • Choose EFTPOS or VISA, Visa you need to pay $10 but you can use your card to buy things online which later on you'll find it very useful. 
       3. IRD number. 
A bank statement and your passport. Got it done in post office. Wait for the IRD numbers. That's it. 

So, while waiting...... What did I do? 

 Eat. Play. Look for jobs.

 My elder sister's friend in her high school, CS and that's his wife. 

 A up close picture of him. LOL. 
They actually accompany me to find jobs, all the way to Alexandra. 
Summer is Cherries season, I wanna work in Cherry orchard, where I can eat like no one else's business. 

Of course la, I bought them simple lunch and as well as I paid for the petrol money. 
They didn't request, but I think it's a must.
I'm still very grateful of them. 
even though they have nothing to do lol wtf and going out with me is definitely more fun wtf. 

 random cat

 I found job! but it was rather late to start. It's in Dunstan Hill. The supervisor/manager was really kind, she told me to inform her earlier if I'd found other jobs. OOPS, and I did. 

 有感觉吗? 有吗有吗? 

CS and his wife, ah sou I called her, cooked me this... I feel loved. Hahahaha. 

Tuesday, 23 May 2017

An escape to New Zealand, Working Holiday. My first step here, Queenstown.

Unsurprisingly, it took me ages to update about my excuse to escape from reality  working holiday.
Because I'm currently working exchange accomodation here in Kaikuora, so I have plenty of times.

I arrived at 23rd November 2016 and December is the first month of Summer. YES!! I am very afraid that I may not be able to cope with the cold, so, summer is good for me.

The next time of me having authentic malaysian breakfast in a kopitiam will be at least half year later.

I only brought 1 backpack, 1 small size luggage, and 1 Ukulele with me.

Bid goodbye with my loves.

I took Air British and Qantas airline from Singapore to Queenstown, transit in Australia.

Never get sick of it..

The airplane meals if you're interested in it. 

After 2 days of travelling, I arrived in Queenstown and amazed with its beauty. Also the beauty which pick me up from airport! xoxo. Thanks See Yin. 

Queenstown in Summer, Seriously? 
I think I had experience one of the weirdest summer this year. 

How to not fall in love with it? 

One more please. 

Where did I stay?

Xbase backpacker hostel. It's at the center of Queenstown.
Last time I booked it with NakedSleep website, which is cheaper but they still give you the exact the same service. But I checked it now, Xbase Queenstown is not in the list anymore.

The accomodation price fluctuate with the demands, usually in summer, the price will be higher.

P.s: Xbase hostel is a party hostel, there is a pub just down there on the ground floor. So if you're very sensitive to noise, better don't stay there.

Wednesday, 17 August 2016

Just another day at work with sentimental feelings

I have a case that was presented to me few months ago.

A very happy Rottweiler, endure everything with smile. Won't attempt to bite. A beautiful dog with lovely family. Just there's some problem with the skin. A lesion that started with eczema, then became a lesion bit like  ringworms... 

I'm suspicious that it could be a skin cancer.. Did a fine needle aspiration, what I've seen under the microscope is not good. It is a type of round cell tumour, and together with the lesion like that, most likely it's cutaneous T-cell lymphoma.  Even so, I did not tell the owner right away. Because this bad news gonna break their heart. I need to double confirm, triple confirm.  I hate it when comes to moments like this, when I'm gonna deliver sad news to the people who see their pets not just pets but family members. So, I confirmed it with my friend who is now working at the clinical pathology lab (who is also a vet), and a oncology lecturer. And they both agree with my tentative diagnosis.

What's next? A phone call to deliver the news. They needed time  to digest and they wished to try with antifungal medicine first, but I asked them better go for a biopsy.

Then time passed. I called the owner few weeks later to follow up... She had went to another vet, and was prescribed with fungal medicine, and is doing fine....... And that awkward moment that she didn't know how to let me feel less embarrassed of the "wrong" diagnosis. And I was embarrassed of course because I was so sure and confident with my diagnosis, but I'm happy at the same time. I told the owner, "it's ok, no worry, we have the same aims, whatever that would make your dog better. "  I ask the owner keeps me updated.

Deep down, I'm talking to myself, "if it's tumor, it won't be responded with the medicine... I think maybe I was wrong. May be. Aiya. Nvm la, the dog is fine now."

Then few months later,, the owner came back to do all full body check up on another dog, and told me she lost her dog.

I asked her "why you didn't go for chemotherapy?"

She replied "we did... But in the end she can't take it more. The fungal medicine works at first, but it grows back again... And we request to do a biopsy, and it's cancer .. And went for the oncologist that you previously referred us to, and continue with chemotherapy... But I guess, it goes into thebody already. "

I'm very sorry to the owner for the lost. And the rudeness in me, that I doubted at them wether did they go for chemotherapy. I'm very sorry. She told me how hard it was for them to accept. And I'm sad too. Because I understand they really loves her...  It's heartbreaking even listening to the journey they went through...

So, my diagnosis was correct. But the dog died. The owner didn't blame me for not pushing them hard on doing the biopsy at the first place. But I feel sorry still.

Today, I put down a golden, because a very bad oral cancer that had metastastize to the lungs. But I didn't do a FNA on him....  I think, he can't cope with chemotherapy anymore at his stage. It was that bad that I accept their request to put to sleep from the owner when the dog is suffering. Owner asked me, when is the most suffering ...

 "When the dog doesn't wag his tail when he sees you, when the dog can't walk to you, when the dog doesn't eat anymore, when even breathing also seems difficult to your dog"

 So it seems today is the day.

Cytolog, is amazing. Cancer, is traumatizing. To everyone. The pets, the owners, and the vets.