The thing that I would not want it to be my regret list.

In life, we always need to make decision out of a lot choices. 

Like at present, I need to make a decision of where and which clinic I would wanna start up my virgin vet working life. It's equally nervous and a really big decision to make like virgin night wtfish hahaha. 

But this post is not about my future career. It's about friendship. (as usual, I'm the emo friendship type. which I think it's more pros than cons because it means I value friendship.) 

I have a friend. A friend that saved me from the depression. (A very mild one I would say, but she was there when I was suffocated with negative mindset about how fragile a friendship can be. Thus, I really like her and appreciate her. For without her, I don't know what I would be now.) 

However, she has fence around her that she won't easily let anyone in. Because she had the same experience like mine too, and she took years to let go. May be because of how the depress-me looks so much like her, she talks to me, and pulls me out from what I had been through. 

She is a person who sees relationship as the matter of utmost importance - Family and friends. 

Tragedy happened and she got back to the old her.

And she keeps feelings to herself. She opts to suffer alone and heal all by her own. 

And I made a decision that I most regret. 

For not being with her. For choosing let her heal on her own. and think that it would be better for not forcing her to share with me. For being such a coward who afraid of being pushed away, being ignored by her. For not being shameless enough to stay by her side. 

I have no doubt that she would heal. Since she had been through so much, there is nothing that she couldn't heal. I know she would not want to talk. 

And I hate myself being such coward and opt the most convenient way to help her is being supportive in a corner far away from her *a.k.a not helping *  As I know, no matter how hard one person push you away, they always needed someone to be there when the tears fall out even though it means you sitting quietly beside her. 

So, I wait. and hope it heals before graduation. 

So, I noticed, a smile and light laughter when I sit beside her in a rotation briefing. *right after it finish, she ran to no where I can find* 

I noticed, she sit with us while having lunch. *damn happy, the whole gang is chilled* 

I noticed, she refuse my help because I may get bitten by her patient. *she still cares about me* 

I noticed her laughter while she preparing slides with one rotation mate. *and I was 10 meters away, it was loud enough to be heard. Good prognosis* 

But the rotation mates still say, she won't talk much. She is like her usual self. 

But to me, She is healing. =D 

So, when comes to her birthday, I decided, to celebrate with her. *how much courage it is, because, I am seriously afraid that she would just ignore me holding the cake, and walk pass me like I'm just plain air.* 

I know, if I didn't organise a celebration with her, it would be the new most regret thing in my life. Because birthday, it means a lot to her. Knowing the fact that we celebrate birthday with her, it's the least thing that we could do to let her feel warmth and remind her, we are still here. And I truly appreciate last year, her housemates celebrate with her. 

So, on her birthday night, we light up the candle, and rushed into the house. END UP WAS BLOWN OFF BY FAN. stupin fan. Then we light up again, sang the birthday song. and she didn't push us away. She didn't walk pass us. She accept it. with smile on her face. =D 

P/S: I'm not the only one afraid to get rejected. People even warn me for may not get what I wish to get. But guess what, #np The Best Day of My Life.  Hahahahaha. 

We chat for hours. I saw more smile, and more laughters heard during the night. More coming in future. =D

I had no idea how our future would be, but our friendship would last forever. If she didn't show up in gathering, maybe I should go to her house and tarik her out, or just being shamelessly ask her to cook for me. I really miss that old great days when I parasite in her house. And I know, she still remembers as clear as I do. Maybe clearer than me.  

May God bless this beautiful soul and ease her path, she has been suffered too much.  

Hope to see the cheerful-her soon. 

with love mix guilt,

Chia Lin 

We will never be royals~

Ok, here's the story. and it would be a long story, I warn you..heheheh..

1 week ago (super late only update my blog, I was quite occupied this week, forgive me on this).....


1 week ago, DVM 2 did a great job in organizing a faculty night for us. and I would said it was awesome, and fun! DVM 2 has a bunch of talented people, who can dance so good, so hot and on top of that, they performed it as a group, no main cast, everyone share the spotlight! I love it! Thank you!

The theme was Retro 80's.
this is the main entrance to the hall. and they were so sweet to give us one pair of retro spec each..

 Spot me out?  the girl so kasar who punch another girl in the stomoach.. *mai siao siao...*
3 cars of people, reach at the same time, to avoid the awkward "waiting alone, pretend cool by looking at the handphone" moment wtfish.

Then more and more arrived...
Notice the retro glass-less spec? They were all given by the DVM organising team as a door gift. So nice (And I lost it at the end of dinner wtfish... anyone saw mine, please return it back to me. =D)

Not just the spec, they give us lollipop.. kinda retro too. I didn't lost it, I kept it in the safest place... my stomach. hehehehe..

the final year students were considered as like VIP *syiok sendiri*, we walked into the hall with the dean leh~~ so I think we were some sort the VIP.. LOL.

While Q-ing outside to enter the hall... hot chicks and leng zai..

to give you the idea of how many so called-VIP of the night.

DVM 2009/2014. Not the full attendance, but still a lot of us.. hahhaa.

Not just the students attend, the lecturers were there..

 prof's level... except the 2 standing there.. they are my coursemates. Trishul and Wei Chean.

Not just lecturers, the staffs were there too..  *excited*

En Azri and Cik Krish. Who helped me a lot during my FYP time. My work definitely would be so much harder if without them... And I didn't get the chance to take photo with Pn. Fauziah.. who I can't survive my FYP withour her.. T^T But I managed to salam cium2 with her. Hahaha.. But then, still no photo... =/

Then dinner was served,

and as well as the performance team starts showing their talent..

 I like their performance, especially the Michael jackson dance, and also the way they use dance and singing to lead us back to 80's memory. ( I just realized, 80's is the time I was born wtfish. I'm so old. )

The boss giving speech. =D If I was him, I may pee in my pants wtfish. So many lecturers watching.. oh my.. Boss, you have my respect!

and then, they start giving out certificate to dogathon heads, zoologico heads, this and that.. then when they announce the prince and princess, oh, kinda like expected, they look fun...
Then they announce King, Dalton Low.. Terkejut mak I. LOL.... I think he didn't expect that too lo~ (did you, King?? ) But he is popular among juniors. and a lot say him look like korean boy.

Then they announce Queen.............. Ong Chia Lin.
taaa-daaaaaa

I was stunned for like 2 seconds. I wasn't expecting that.. It's so much more unexpected than Dalton as King. LOL. like 10 times more than that.
My class has so many well dressed and gorgeous people, I don't think it would be me... (But the chinese course night queen, was kinda expected la. because I am too talkative, then I know more number of juniors than the rest chinese girls in my class.. soo... eeemmmmm hmmmm... Thank you people xoxo)

But I still believe voter's taste wtfish, that I look pretty wtfish. *Vain level max!!!*
Sincerely la, Thank you so much. Terima kasih! Banyak-banyak!
I hope you noticed I bowed to you when I took the crown.  You guys are too kind to me!

And thanks to my dad and mum, giving me the pretty gene wtfish.

*Sudden Random facts: The first time I was praised pretty was form 1 and the first time I was told the way I walk is fugly was form 4. *

It's going to be like thousand of pictures in this post, and 99% have my face wtfish.

 My girls. Who I will regret so much if I didn't meet them in my life.
Love this picture so much, another happy moment captured!!
From left to right, Choy yean, Lya, me, Xue Qi, Wendy, Sandy, Rufina.
All of them play very important role throughout my DVM time..
and they are the one, building the present "ME". I think I changed so much after the time with them.
The only bad thing about graduate is us not being in a gang anymore, all would be in different places.
I can tell how much I would miss them in future time.

 The boys... Nothing special about ... LOL.. joking la...
from left to right, ravi, fhong, moo, me, wei chean, dalton.

 Wei chean as a boss in our class has to be well protected!!!! See the body guard!

With one of my favourite lecturer! Dr, Malaika.
Never had a sleepy moment during her lecture. Funny, stylish, knowledgeable.
Only if I can be like her.. *jumping jumping and determined (like a small kid would be), and I wouldn't know how long the determination would last lol... one day?! =P *

and the person I am regret that I know her too late!!

Ku Atiqah!  (Ignore the extremely eye-irritating bright red shirt guy at the right)
We share the same opinion in a lot of things and matters but we had the totally different lifestyle and hobby, and I like her steadiness in handling lots of thing. Great time management, Gadget-holic, funny, sarcastic, caring.. everything la! Last time xue qi told me, if I know Ku well, she thinks, Ku and I can be like very close friends. But then, I didn't get the chance to know her more, just see her make announcement everyday lol.. (she was a class rep). She is cute la! Then DVM 5 first semester we got arranged into the same group, and that's when, I become one of her fans~ hahahha.

 Pakee, may I know what expression is this call?? hahaha Pakee, with his favourite colour, green. Match him well ya.. Looks like a cartoon.

Pakee! The photobomber #1. Lol.
from left: Ravi (a lot ppl said he is handsome.), moo (my siSTAR), me, Weichean the boss and dalton with his DSLR wtfish. hahahaha.

My ex roommate, Lya and my current roommate, Erica. Super retro, follow the theme very well.

 with my siSTAR, moo. His "boobs" are bigger than mine, so, calling him sister is really suitable. LOL.
fml. T_____________T
太平公主变太平王后的悲哀 wtfish.

my housemate, Munira, has a great voice would melt your heart.. So cute.
I'm wondering, who's the photographer ya, why Xue Qi's hand was chopped off one.

 with Cheng... How tall is her heels man.. So much taller than me.
I like her outfit. That kind of outfit would never fit me. T_________T

Really look like cartoon.

Then with this lady.

 Dila!!!!!! Very drama girl.. and a honest girl!
She looks gorgeous la.. Very retro also..

I like her. =D

With fiqss!! and photobomber #2
ex Veternak president! to me, she is like a big sister and I am her fan!!!! because her voice.. it's totally different voice LOL.. *soli~~* She can sing one day without losing her voice, and if I have her voice, you will be seeing me singing in youTube, malaysian idol and xing guang da dao, the Voice...  That's why God didn;t give me that voice.. LOL, for you guys' sake, not to have me annoy you from the TV. hahaha.

 With the hot chick..Nafisah.. Another good soul in earth. She is so pretty.. picture may not do her justice, but she is really pretty that I think can be Miss Malaysia. Everytime I tell her this, she would say : if you were a guy... " hahahhaha. Single and available!!!!

With Liwi and Wazi. Both of their big round eyes, and my mata cina. T^T.

 Ex-rotamate.. Zu. funny, Cheerful and kinda romantic girl, I think.. Happy go lucky girl.

 I think 7 years later, may see his photo up again about vet dinner. Hahaha..Jadi lecturer sesuai sangat. Shafiq, the panda.

 Forever rotamate! Memey~ we are so loyal to each other that we have been in the same rotation group for 2 years. Yuupeee~

 I look so creepy over here... With my roommate, erica. since 2nd year, waaaa.. almost 4 years already..

 ah Long... THE MOST HAPPY-GO-LUCKY girl, yet has the feeling of big sister. Having her in the rotation group makes everything cheerful, like no big deal.. My only One-piece gang..

 ety and lin (Azlina). Another sincere soul on earth, my ex rotamate.. and their friendship is what I see unbreakable.

 It should be a house photo la~~~~ but... hmmmm...
From left: Xue Qi, me, Wawa (Congratz for the most DIVA DVM student!!!), Munira, n roommate.

A must take photo!

 With Dr ooi. The first lecturer that I would make jokes and kiddy kiddy with.

 King and Queen's princess wtfish... *Vomit* hahahhaa

And to end this post with....

Sometime, it feels good to have someone do crazy things with you.
and share the joy with you.

遇到你们， 真好。

good that I have you, appeared in my life.



XOXO


Thank you so much for your love.

Yours sincerely,
Chia Lin.



P.s: Credit to Dalton for his excellent photography skill and DSLR. =P 50% picture are from his.

The bitterest lesson of life

This friday the vet student, DVM 2 is organizing a faculty night, with the theme of Vintage. 

Every year, faculty night will highlight on DVM 5 as it is considered as the dinner celebrating us leaving the faculty soon, and lecturers will be like "get out of this faculty, I don't wanna see your face anymore" lol wtfish. This is true, because, if they see us again next semester, it means we failed the comprehensive exam, and take another 1 year, to study and retake the exam. =C As much as the lecturers wish us leave them alone, hahahaha, I hope so too. *Fingers cross* 

So, DVM 2 are asking for the video of DVM 5. thus, I have to go through all the old pictures. 

The more I see, the sadder I am.

And this is the conclusion I get... 

How crazy we were, how much fun we had and lead to how sentimental the pictures are now. 

May be I should feel satisfied with the memory of our great old days together, yet why my heart aches when I recall of it. 

Maybe I should think that it's not us who change, it's our priorities. =S

They said, friends don't leave, we just know that who our true friends are. 

I'm living in a world that even best friends can grow apart. 

I miss you. and it hurts. 

I shall call it a "Old woman syndrome" 

to the other friends who I unintentionally hurt before (if I had), you have my most sincere apologies, I had no idea, it hurts you that bad. 

Sekian, terima kasih. 

That one inch of dust. arrrrrchew..

Have been so long since the last time I updated the blog. I have so many things to write about, so many things I wish not forget, yet I didn't write them down, thanks to my final year project (and sudden surge of  procrastination attitude in me too) for building this one inch of dust on my blog. 

A quick update. 

Jump to #6, which is the only complete short story. Lol. 

1. Had the most wonderful Chinese New Year celebration ever in my life, apreciate the time with family more and more. I guess it is one of the sign of ageing wtfish. I would blog a complete version once I finish preparing my fyp slides.
2. FYP finally got smoother, and I dislike statistic. It's so difficult. But now I appreciate a statement more once someone wise told me: research is full of shit wtfish. Now I have more guts to deal with all kind of shit, be calm and steady.   
3. I've been staying with Chai Yun, who makes a great companion. 
4. We had our first CNY dinner with coursemates and a few snooker games as post dinner exercise. Actually we are just a bunch of students who are not willing to get back to the reality that we still have to continue our FYP wtfish. No la, it's just me. I would blog a complete version once I finish preparing my fyp slides.
5. Had a great Valentine's weekend with Monkey and his colleagues and friends. I shall named his friends as 5 bid bad wolves, and I, as red ridding hood wtfish. I would blog a complete version once I finish preparing my fyp slides.
6. Oh yeah, they said, A daughter is a father's past live valentine. So, I called my baba Ong, and shouted "I LOVE YOU" over the phone on Valentine's day (I literally yelling at the phone, this is the only time that I am allowed to yell and not getting scolded, but a lovely reply by my Baba Ong.).  
7. I appreciate for what I have and what I had. Thanks God for sending them to me. 

Thanks to universe. 

Xoxo. 

Chia Lin.

伟大的实验动物。 白老鼠与马来西亚公民。

做Final year project 感想： 世界上最伟大的动物是实验室里的实验动物。谢谢你们。　


可回头想想，89，90年生-，好像也是马来西亚教育里的白老鼠。 教育制度说换就换。


所有人好像也是政治的白老鼠， 价钱说起就起，税务说加就加，都不懂真的有帮到国家的嘛。 


那样的话，我们好像比实验室里的白老鼠还惨。



幸苦啦， 马来西亚人。 

Bumps and humps along the road.

Now I already settled my finals, which comprised of only 5 subjects but drive people to mad. Especially aquatic medicine which is a totally new subject to us, met new parasites that have never met or heard before, remembering the name (scientific name I mean, but even common name is new to me, I eat fish, but I only can recognise salmon and unagi too bad.)

How bad it is? It was bad that during the practical exam when we were shown pictures of fish diseases or parasites, or anything related to fish disease ( including equipment used to diagnose), I curse so much that I see them carries the same meaning. So, I would now change the word "fuck" to "fish" lol wtfish. I definitely won't enter aquatic field, because I may cause world fish population falls to a crisis level. No joke! I think I'm cursed, it's a family curse, last time my father had an experience of starting aquaculture, but ended up losing quite a lot money in it.  

K. Done with final exams. We end it with a dinner of japanese food, we eat them RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW as a revenge wtfish. 

Along the finals exam week, have to worry about the final year project which is shorten to 5 weeks to finish experiment as well as preparing presentation.

And face some problem when I just about to start. A lot last minute changes have to be done, and my appreciation to my supervisors who have to go through everything with me. A lot of communication on a lot of things need to be done, and I ask so much that I am afraid that they may see me as a annoying student wtfish. T_____________________T   Hopefully not. I'm so adorable. Annoying cute girl is still a cute girl wtfish. hahahaha.


Please pray for me if you read this post. Hopefully I can finish up my fyp before chinese new year.
There is no reason that I'm going sacrifice my family sweet time.


Love me please, God. Shows me some love, shows me some mercy.


Aiya, Ok also la. Train me more, shape me into better human being with more patience and more efficient.



XOXO



Please love me.

Not Just A Happy New Year.

在这新的一年，全世界的人都在祝你新年快乐， 而我也祝你新年快乐。 

但愿你在这一年遇到挫折，

面对让你失望的事情，

面对打击，

面对让你质疑你自己的事情，

面对考验，友情也好，爱情也好，事业也好，遇到一些让你不顺心的事情，

面临濒临崩溃的一幕。

我们都还年轻，就趁年轻时面对它们，

但愿你从中学会怎么应付，学会现实虽不美好，可是自己的生活也不差； 

质疑了自己也不忘了要相信回自己，

但愿你不再怀疑自己想做的事情。

但愿你学会从挫折中爬起，

但愿你学会安慰遍体鳞伤的自己，

但愿你真的和你的岁月一起成长。

但愿你学会放过自己。  

 新年快乐！ 要幸福哦！